And so it goes

I don’t really want to write this post, but here I am anyway. We said goodbye to Grace last Monday. She was such a fighter, so stubborn, sweet and loving until the very end, but life just got too hard for her. She got roasted chicken and chocolate and bacon treats, so much love and so many kisses – even our vet snuggled her and cried. Grace always loved people, so the vet was a fun place for her, and I’m so grateful that she was in a happy, loving environment at the end. It was heartbreaking but when we got home, I had such a strong feeling of peace and relief, relief that she wasn’t having to fight so hard anymore.

Of course, since then the grief has come and gone in spurts. The closest I can come to describing it is when your first kid moves away. You know it’s the right thing but there’s still that gap in the house, that feeling of something missing. I miss that healthy, naughty Grace — the one who jumped on the couch to greet us when we walked in the door, the one who loved to sleep on the back of the couch in front of the window, the one who would jump on our bed at every opportunity and just sprawl out for a good long snooze. I miss the snuggles — she was the absolute best at snuggles, laying in your lap or resting her head on your shoulder.

But there is a new simplicity that I’m beginning to appreciate. The morning pill routine is SO MUCH simpler now. We don’t have to worry about a counter-surfing dog stealing food. There’s no barking waking us up at 4 am or 5 am — something she’d done sporadically for years. Two dogs are just easier to handle than three, so I’m going to do my best to focus on that, and hope that the husband and I don’t have the urge to get another dog at the same time!

Thankfully, the other dogs seem to be okay. They were a little needy and clingy the first day or two but now they seem to have settled in. They hadn’t really interacted with Grace much the last few months anyway — she couldn’t play, and she tended to avoid them because they’d plow into her. And now they can get even more attention than before, which should make Duncan happy especially.

So. That’s that. We always know going into it that we’re going to have to say goodbye eventually but it always comes too soon. At least I know that Grace was fully loved for all the time we had her.

FO: Librarian Vest

With my Back to the Fuchsia shawl off the needles, I turned to my next biggest WIP – my Librarian Vest (Ravelry link). I had about 20cm of the body and needed 30, except actually I wanted more like 32-33 because the designer’s was shorter than I wanted. I knitted and knitted while watching Wimbledon and yesterday I finished and blocked it!

I love the gray and pink together, and I’m so glad I only did the pattern on the front instead of all the way around the body – that would have made it go so much slower, and who really sees the back anyway? I’m not a huge fan of the pooling at the bottom. That was before I started alternating my two skeins (WHEN will I learn??) and I didn’t want to frog back that much. And honestly, once I have it on, the pooling isn’t really that noticeable.

And yes, I have tried it on and it fits perfectly, which is a miracle given that my “swatch” was a cowl I knit three years ago with this yarn! I was a little concerned as I was knitting because it was definitely coming out too small for me, but then, blocking worked its magic and now it’s just right. Honestly, I’m kind of tempted to knit another one, but maybe in a solid yarn that wouldn’t require alternating skeins!

Beyond knitting, life is just trucking along, day by day. Work was super stressful for a while there, but now I’m in a quiet period, which I’m fully embracing. Grace is still hanging in there, the stubborn thing, though we’re seeing more signs of the disease’s progression. But she’s alert, she can eat and move around, she wags her tail and is happy to get attention, so I’m trying to go with the flow. We go back to the oncologist for a three-month follow up visit on Wednesday.

I took Jack to the vet last week. He’d had a couple episodes where he was drooling and his teeth were chattering so I was worried he had some kind of mouth/tooth problem. And I was worried they’d just tell us we’d have to put him under to examine him and then they’d want to do a cleaning too and then they’d find a broken tooth or something. But this time we got good news – the vet was able to get a good look and didn’t see anything that concerned her. She also said his teeth were worn but clean and looked good, so she didn’t even recommend a cleaning! Whew. Nice to get a good dog report now and then.

Happy Monday, friends.

FO: Back to the Fuchsia

I managed to finish my Back to the Fuchsia shawl on the last day of June, a lovely bit of symmetry since I started it on the first day. I’m actually surprised I finished it that quickly, since there were a few times that the houndstooth pattern felt like it would take forever. But this was my main project for the month so I didn’t really work on much else. And I’m so glad I made it – it’s such a fun shawl!

The cream and black were both leftover partial skeins from stash so I’m thrilled to use them up. The black (actually charcoal) is a merino/silk blend from Julie Spins and the cream is Malabrigo Sock. The pink I bought for this project and it’s Baah Yarn La Jolla in Pink Tourmaline. I’ve got about 57 grams left of the pink so it might work well paired with a multi-colored yarn in a bigger shawl. I loved working with it – it’s so nice and crisp.

Blocking was a bit of a challenge. The designer recommended pinning first and then spray blocking, rather than soaking and then pinning. I don’t really know why but figured I’d better go with it. Because the lace sections had more stretch than the houndstooth, I had to fuss with it a lot to get it pinned out evenly and in the right shape. Got there in the end!

With that done, yesterday I had a bit of knitting time and had an initial thought of, “Wait – what am I supposed to work on now?” before remembering that yes, I do actually have several other WIPs that could use my attention now.

I also finished Friday Night Lights yesterday (alas) so I’m pondering my next binge. Thinking about The Bear. Anyone else seen it?

Happy Sunday, friends.

Ups and downs

I went to a funeral today, for a beautiful 14-year-old girl who was somebody’s daughter, granddaughter, niece, cousin, friend. It wasn’t my loss – I didn’t really know her; she was part of my husband’s extended family that we’ve drifted away from. But at one time we were close to her dad, her aunts, her grandparents, and we went today for them.

It’s awful, burying a child. My heart is broken for her poor parents, her family, her cousins, and her sweet friends who were struggling to get through what was probably the first funeral they’ve ever been to. I didn’t know her but I could feel what the loss of her meant to everyone. I could see a hint of what it would be like to lose your child.

But today is also my son’s birthday. I’m even more grateful than usual that I get to be with him to celebrate. I’m grateful that I can close the day with a family dinner and chocolate cake, and hopefully he’ll know how much we love him.

FO Friday: Wonder Woman Socks

Here’s the thing: when you have a bunch of WIPs and you spread your knitting time around all of them (or at least some of them), then it takes a while for things to get finished. These socks, for example. I cast on in JANUARY and I just finished them, six months later. And they’re not even what they were supposed to be to begin with!

Originally, I had plans to knit these really cool Diana Prince (Wonder Woman) socks (pattern on Rav). It had the WW logo on the leg, but not only was the stitch pattern just charted and not written out (I don’t love charts – I usually find them harder/slower to read) but there was some weird fancy twisted stitch that looked super complicated and I just decided this pattern was more work than I wanted to do for a pair of socks. I like happy simple sock knitting. Of course, finishing these socks still took a few months after deciding that, but they’re done now and that’s the important thing.

It’s been busy and stressful and hot around here. The plants are appreciating the sunshine and the heat; the dogs, not so much, since it means they usually don’t get walks. I’ve made good progress on my Back to the Fuchsia shawl but have no illusions that I’ll finish it any time soon – that mosaic pattern has a tendency to get real tedious, so I have to take breaks.

This weekend is a busy one, by my standards anyway. Tomorrow I’m going to see Katherine Center with a friend (have you read her books?? I love them, especially The Bodyguard), and I think we’ll have dinner after, and Sunday I have a family birthday party. Both delightful things but I do hope I get plenty of quiet knitting time too!

Happy Friday, friends.

The green needed some blue!

Recently I cast on a little shawl with some green variegated yarn that just wasn’t doing it for me. I liked but it wasn’t what I had in my head for this yarn. I’m still not exactly sure what it’s supposed to be but I do know it needs to be brightened up, so I’ve found a couple of solids to pair with it.

The turquoise is by the same dyer so I know those will pair nicely. The green was supposed to be a pair of shortie socks but I think it might look really fun with these other two. So what to do with them? I’m thinking I might start with the same pattern and just modify it a bit – do sections of garter with the variegated and sections of eyelets with the solids. I don’t think I want to keep the same number of rows as the pattern says – I want to alternate differently-sized sections and add more eyelet rows. I don’t know for sure, and I probably won’t until I just start doing it. So that might be my goal for the weekend.

I haven’t gotten much farther on my Back to the Fuchsia houndstooth shawl – just haven’t had the brainpower for it. I’ve been waking up almost every morning around 4 a.m. For a while that’s when Grace was telling us to get up, so maybe my brain is anticipating it? But now she’s quiet until 5 or 5:30 – which is kind of good and kind of not (when you realize it’s because she’s just declining a little more) – so I would really like my brain to get with it and let me sleep longer. Between the sleep deprivation and a full work week, I only managed simple knitting during the week. I keep thinking to myself, “oh when things calm down…” but I’m not sure that every really happens, does it? Yes, at some point we won’t be caring for a terminally ill dog, but there’s always something.

Anyway, I do hope to get back to the houndstooth over the weekend as well. But if I don’t, that’s okay too!

Grace still loves to lick an oatmeal bowl every morning.

Happy Saturday, friends.

FO: Baby Blanket

Oh frabjous day, the blanket is done!! When I pulled it out of the bag yesterday, I was delighted to see I was further along than I remembered, so I only had one and a half blue sections and two white sections left. I finished it this morning while watching tennis, and even got ALL THOSE ENDS woven in.

This is a free pattern from Espace Tricot. The white is two skeins of Bernat Satin and the greens and blues are from a gradient set of Brava Worsted minis from KnitPicks. So really this only cost me around $25 – not bad for a bespoke baby gift! I did end up with several colors leftover and I have no idea what I’m going to do with them, but they can just live on the shelf for now.

Yesterday I watched last year’s Whitney Houston movie to make the blanket knitting more tolerable, and I really enjoyed it. Of course I’m a child of the 80s so Whitney Houston was a Big Deal, and I loved her music. She was so talented – it’s heartbreaking, what happened to her and her daughter.

Anyway! I’m feeling quite pleased with myself for finishing the blanket, and now I can go back to my fun knitting with zero guilt.

Progress: Back to the Fuchsia!

This pattern is very addictive! This is the only thing I wanted to work on all week, except when I was watching tennis, and I’ve made it past the first fuchsia section.

It’s so good!! I think my houndstooth section might be a little tight – probably because I’m subconsciously worried about running out of those colors since they’re leftovers and not full skeins – but it should relax enough when I block it. I’m ready to start the second houndstooth section but just remembered today that I have a baby blanket to finish for a friend! The baby is due next month but I don’t want to cut it too close, so I guess I better set my fun knitting aside and finish up my gift knitting. Next time I need to knit something other than a blanket!

I Like Big Shawls and I Cannot Lie

Did you have a good weekend? I hope so – I did! It wasn’t super eventful, just a collection of happy things. We went to the symphony Friday night and heard Mahler’s 4th, we walked to our little downtown area Saturday morning for an art show and farmer’s market, and I spent the rest of the weekend watching tennis, knitting, and reading. If only we could have had another three-day weekend!

I got so much knitting done. I made it to the next-to-last repeat of the first houndstooth section on Back to the Fuchsia. It’s very addictive but not something I can work on while watching tennis, or anything really. So for my tennis watching, I cast on two new shawls: a one-skein Be Simple Variations (free on Rav) with a skein from my Iowa trip and the Cupcake Crescent Shawl (on Lovecrafts) with my most recent new yarns.

I’m not 100% sold on the green one. I like it, but I’m thinking I want that yarn to be something lighter, airier – maybe lace. So it’s on hold for the moment. But the Cupcake Crescent?? I’m obsessed with that color combo, so much that I’m going back to buy another skein of the purple variegated. The pattern calls for somewhere around 450 yards of each color but it’s very customizable so I figured I’d adjust the sizes of each section to use my 400-yard skeins. But now that I see how it knits up? I want to make it full-size! I might want to add another section! I just want options, and I won’t be mad about having leftover yarn. (This is Kim Dyes Yarn, Sourdough Sock, in Shamrock and Tropical Daydream.)

Other things I’m loving: I’m watching Friday Night Lights. I know, I’m VERY late to this particular party, but the idea of football always put me off. But then when I loved Ted Lasso despite not liking soccer, I thought I’d give it a shot, and I’m really enjoying it. It’s not too much football, I love Kyle Chandler and Connie Britton, and I’ve always been a fan of serial dramas. Even the husband is enjoying it and he thought I’d lost my mind when I started watching it!

Books I recently finished that I loved: The Love Hypothesis by Ali Hazelwood (romance among scientific researchers), The Secret Ingredient of Wishes by Susan Bishop Crispell (little bit of magic, little bit of romance), and Happy Place by Emily Henry (estranged fiancees must pretend to still be together). Apparently I’m in a romance-heavy phase with my reading.

Okay, better get to work – let’s do this thing, friends! Happy Monday.

KT Tunstall in Iowa

You may remember a few months ago I bought tickets to see KT Tunstall, a Scottish folk/rock singer/songwriter whose music I’ve loved for ages. She wasn’t coming to my city, but Des Moines was close enough – less than three hours away. My local concert buddy had plans already but the husband said he’d join me even though he’s not really a fan. Then a couple of weeks before the concert, he wasn’t able to take the time off work anymore. No worries, I have three friends in Iowa, surely one of them could be my date! Well, one had plans and the other two weren’t interested. I briefly considered not going because who wants to go to a concert by themselves? But I quickly decided I’d regret it too much if I didn’t go – and thank goodness for that because I had a blast.

It helps that I’m an introvert who enjoys being alone … a LOT. I need regular alone time to be happy. So two days mostly on my own ended up being a treat! I drove down Tuesday morning and spent a couple of hours puttering around Valley Junction, an adorable downtown neighborhood. I visited the yarn shop, the pen shop, the bookstore, and several little antique/gift shops. I had a burger and a cider at a tavern. Then I drove out to another independent bookstore and hit a nearby record store too. I checked into my hotel, rested for a little while, then got ready to meet two of my Iowa friends for dinner. We had a great time and I made it to the venue with plenty of time to visit the merch table – gotta get the concert tee! – and get a glass of wine. It was held at Hoyt Sherman Place, a historic building that used to be a family home. It was gorgeous – beautifully restored and maintained – and I wish I could have toured the whole place.

But the show, the show was the whole reason for this trip, and it was so so good. I was in the fifth row of the center section so the seats were perfect. I got goosebumps when she came out and started singing just from the thrill of hearing the song in person. She was funny and chatty and her voice sounded fantastic. Plus it was just her on stage, no band or anything! She had two guitars, one acoustic and one electric, plus an amp and a looping machine. (I don’t know what it’s actually called, sorry!) She’d record a couple of seconds of beating her guitar with her hand for percussion, or singing a background vocal, and it would just repeat during the song. It was impressive. My only complaint was that the show was too short! It was a co-headlining show with Martin Sexton (I hadn’t heard of him before but he put on a good show) and he and KT each did about an hour of music.

So was it weird or awkward to be there alone? Honestly, not really. I had a couple of moments where I felt self-conscious, but once I got seated, it was no big deal. Would I still rather go with someone else? Yeah, it’s nice to have company, someone to chat with before the show starts, someone to rehash the show with after it ends. But I think I enjoyed the show itself just as much as I would have with a date.

The next day I visited another yarn shop before dropping in for a quick chat with Sarah. She wasn’t feeling well and I was both tired and ever-so-slightly hungover (oops) so I didn’t stay long, and I was on the road home by lunchtime. Sadly, I didn’t think to take a photo of my stash enhancements before putting them away, but you can probably imagine – there was plenty of purple along with a bit of teal and pink. Three skeins have already been wound so I can cast them on soon, so you’ll see them soon enough.

Hopefully I’ll remember this experience the next time I feel weird about doing something alone – and I do it anyway!